Saturday, March 13, 2010

Writers' Block

I haven’t written in such a long time – it pains me inside, as writing was once the one thing that saved my life, the one friend that I could rely on. Now it seems that I have turned my back to it, leaving it on the outskirts of my life. I guess I’m feeling euphoric these days, and have no need for its companionship anymore. It is not that I do not wish to write any longer, I would love to; but there has been no inspiration, no overly emotional experiences to set me off on one of my writing rampages. Even now – I find myself dissatisfied with this work, and the temptation to just highlight it all and press ‘backspace’ is so strong.

It’s almost as if I have been sleeping for decades and suddenly I get that vertiginous falling sensation and wake with a start... Realising how long it has actually been since I have set time aside for my life passion and dream. The writer’s block that I am suffering through right now, and have been for the last two or three years, is making future prospects seem dim. It isn’t often anymore that I can relish an evening in, pouring my heart and soul out onto pen and paper.

The feeling of overcoming this writers’ block and defeating its power is so sublime; I wish I was strong enough. Alas, it has built a wall around my interior, barricading off all inspiration that I once let in like the ocean current.

Writers’ block is the most frustrating and overpowering sensation that I have ever felt. I feel as though my life is not my own, as though it is not me behind the wheel. I feel caged in and destroyed; as though my hands are tightly tied behind my back and my mouth has been cello taped shut for eternity. It feels as though all hope is lost, as though the life has been sucked out of me and as though I am bone dry and lifeless on the inside. It feels as though my soul is dying.

Let me get over this writer’s block. Let me feel alive again. I beg of you.

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Jade