Friday, August 26, 2011

Friday Banter

Since I got let-go from Belvidere Manor, I have been focusing mainly on my novel. I've recently started my second one which is going well so far.
I had left a printed copy of my first novel in the lounge of my house and I had no idea that someone would actually notice it. Yet the person I had least expected to take any interest in it, read the whole thing... my dad.
He told me that the story was impressive but it obviously needed tweaking here and there. He also told me that after chapter ten, my writing matured massively and basically put the first ten chapters to shame.
So before I continue writing my second novel, I somehow need to find the time to edit the first ten chapters again.
Why would I need to 'find the time' to edit these chapters you might ask?
Well, as everyone told me it would happen: when the hotel industry slammed the door in my face, two other doors opened.
One of those doors was at an advertising firm called the Jam Factory. I went for an interview there and when they were busy explaining the business to me I realized that this is exactly the type of place that I hope to end up in.
I don't want to be too presumptuous about landing the job, or get my hopes up too high... even so I am going back there in an hours time for a second interview and I want them to know how much I really want this job!!

If the job doesn't work out however, all is not lost. If they tell me that I didn't get it, I'm not going to think its the end of the world and cry and feel sorry for myself like I would usually do... instead I'll shake their hands and wish them all the best and also ask them to please keep my CV on file so that if they are looking for anyone in the future, they can consider me.
Also, I won't just go back to only focusing writing.....
I have applied to the Beauty Therapy Institute where I am going to start studying a Bridal, Day & Night Make-up course, a Manicure & Pedicure course AND a business administration course!
If (fingers crossed) I get this job at the Jam Factory, the university has told me that there are evening classes that I can take which would be perfect. The uni is right across from my boyfriends house anyway!
I am aware that it will be a lot of work and juggling both is going to be hectic... but I've been doing next to nothing for long enough now, so I'm ready to work my ass off and get somewhere with my life!!!

Surfing has been a bit non-existent recently to say the least... There was a shark attack in Plett a few days ago that has spooked me and until reports say that the number of shark sightings have dropped, I'm not getting on my board.
I know its silly to let something like that stop you from practicing. Sharks are always going to be there, its inevitable. If you let them freak you out, your dreams of surfing will quickly diminish.

Besides work and play... the love life is going well. Shaun and I are just days away from celebrating our first BIG anniversary which has worked out perfectly.
My folks are treating themselves to a week away in Kruger Park and have left me and Shaun to house sit, starting on the night of our anniversary...
Yes, I'm thinking the exact same thing as you! Sexy dinner, Jacuzzi, fire-place, movies...... I can hardly wait!
Tonight we're going to his parents for a braai. His brother is here from JHB for the weekend so it will be a nice welcome home, relaxed evening in.

OH!!! How could I forget?! I got a new car!!! The brand new Nissan Micra 2011 is now mine and I own the only model in town for now. I am so blessed! Giving up my beautiful Honda was hard but I am so happy with my gorgeous new, blue Micra! Shaun and I already went on a road-trip with her. Rachel and Michael came with us and the four of us enjoyed an amazing day out in Tsitsikamma.
Life is good... finally I am 100% content.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Seize the Day

I don't really know how to start a piece of writing so morbid, so emotional... In that case I guess that the thing to do would be to get straight to the point.

For those of you that follow my blog and read the daily shenanigans of my life, you should know that I recently got a job in the hotel industry.
Having worked there for just over a month, I thought that everything was finally coming together. I started planning to rejoin the gym, save up for my trip to Thailand with my boyfriend next year, buy a new surfboard as I have improved and other proactive things.

Yesterday (the 10th August 2011) would seem to me now one of the worst days of my life. It started off good, my boyfriend wrote on my facebook wall, telling me how in love with me he is. We had just celebrated our five month anniversary together, seemingly small but still a proud and happy day for the both of us. The weather was good and I was smiling.
Then suddenly a fight with an agent at work stirred in the air and the day turned sour.

For a couple of days, the bosses had been expecting me to waitress and make guests their coffee etc as they were understaffed. Suddenly it became my problem and the other girls problem that had applied to work here as a receptionist, not as a servant.
I didn't really have a problem with that. I realize that in the hotel industry, when it is busy you must help where-ever you can, no matter what your job title is.
However, I do think that they should be more organized and employ more staff to do that sort of job though.

On making coffee for guests, I had no idea where everything was. Hot chocolate was stored in a white ice cream bucket, but how was I to know? It seemed as though the bosses suddenly expected me to know the ins and outs of the business, but no one had helped or told me anything before.
I had no idea where things were or how to do certain tasks now suddenly required of me.

Returning back to the awful agent crisis; the boss phoned me from upstairs and told me that she wanted to see me before I left for the day.
I knew then and there that something was off. As soon as 4pm ticked onto the clock I slowly and unwillingly crept up the ancient rickety staircase leading up to her office.
Upon entering the office, where I had been employed only a month prior, I saw that my boss held a sealed envelope in her hand.
I stared at her, waiting for her to put me out of my misery.
She began with, "I'm very sorry, Jade..." though she did not look sorry at all. Those four little words were all I needed to understand what was happening.
She told me that I did not have enough experience in the hotel industry for their establishment... which I ifnd quite unfair as they had my curriculum vitae and knew that fact at the beginning of employing me.

Tears of shame, anger, humiliation and worthlessness stung my eyes and I tried to wipe them away furiously but I just couldn't keep it together.

I feel so useless....... Like a complete failure.

I know it will get better. I know everyone says that everything happens for a reason and that when one door closes, another one opens.... but everything just seems so hopeless at the moment.

I know that I can't give up, that would be the worst thing to do. Its so hard though.
Everything had finally seemed almost perfect in my life, everything seemed to be coming together... but it all got ripped out from under me and I landed face down in the dirt once again.

The worst part of all is that they are making me work both today and tomorrow. I find that cruel and unfair. Who does that to someone with a smile on their face?
They let you go, but make you come back in your humiliation and complete two days when you aren't really even needed. What it is, is simply torture!

I am trying my utmost to put on a brave face and get through these next two days.
I am trying to conjure up the strength but it is so hard. I know I have to though, because if I walk out and end things on a bad note, it will follow me.
I need to try and keep professional for the next two days as hard as it may be because this town is so small, I cannot risk it jepardizing any hopes for future jobs.

I realize that I need to be the better person and thank them for the opportunity that they gave me and walk away happily.

I was completely distraught yesterday and cried all night long.
My family was absolutely amazing. My mother bought me flowers and wiped away my tears, my dad stuck up for me and told me he will sort it out and would always look after me and my brother, dear Leonard, sat me down at 10pm and just spoke to me about the time that he was in a bad financial situation.
I think they finally realize that I really am trying and unfortunately I am failing. They were always a bit hard on me in the past, but now that they have seen how much I wanted this job (or any job at all,) and it did not work out, they are finally reminding me of their support and love no matter what.

I am so blessed to have such amazing people in my life and that is all that matters. At the end of the day, work isn't going to be the one caring for you, your friends and family are.
There are always chances and opportunities, so when they arise you have to seize the moment.

Friday, August 5, 2011

21st & more surfing rambles

I have finally found it! My 21st theme...

I have been searching for an excuse to wear my Matric Dance dress again for months. I spent a fortune on it to only wear it once and I just couldn't bring myself to sell it or give it away.

A few friends of mine are celebrating their Matric Dance this evening and it got me envious; until I realized I could incorporate something into my up and coming 21st so that I can wear it! Ok, so its not exactly 'up and coming', it is still ten months away... but I believe that I 21st is like a wedding. It only happens once and you can never have enough planning! The sooner I start, the more perfect it will be when that day finally arrives.
So my theme has been decided: One More Time - Relive your Matric Dance

Now I can finally have my Matric dance with the man of my dreams, who I hadn't met soon enough for him to experience that special moment with me.

Everything seems to be going my way! I am in the best of moods. My surfing dream is well on its way to reality too I would say as the guy that shaped my jellyfish board is now going to be replicating my favorite board in the world for me in September. So I will be getting a smaller board that I can duckdive and I have begged Michael to start training me as often as we can. I want to devote every free second I have to surfing come hell or high water. I want to get good! Its a dream and its not going to happen unless I do something about it!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

These Winter Days

It is the last few weeks of winter and thank goodness for that. It has been so difficult to drag myself out of bed in the mornings when it is so cold and dark, but somehow I have managed to force myself.

This winter feels as though it has been shorter than I remember them; it feels like just yesterday I was living as a beach bum; surfing and tanning, a real free-spirit.

I wish I knew why my life always has to be so chaotic. Nothing can ever just be a small change… An example would be: I am either alone and miserable or in a fully committed 24/7 relationship; or I am either unemployed or completely loaded with work. There is never a time where I can just glide through things at an easy pace. I am either at stop street, waiting for the light to turn green, or I am going 160 km’s.

Speaking of relationships and work… I am happy to say that Shaun has finally started spending more time at my house as he adopted a second pitbull from Cape Town. This means that he doesn’t have to worry about his dog being lonely and sad anymore and we can do a lot of things that were limited to us beforehand.

Just last night he came to my place for a braai and we watched a horror movie called Untraceable in my bed. The movie was almost like the Saw sequels, but better; though I have to say that I am no longer enjoying horror movies as much as I used to now that my life is nearly all sunshine and flowers.

On the work front, so far my new job is going well. I am still in the learning process and am not learning everything as fast as I would like to or usually do though that being said I have never worked in the hospitality industry before so this is all very new for me.

I think I have just started bonding with the other girls at work too which is great… I tend to be very shy and withdrawn at first in front of new people but once I make that ‘bond’ with someone I’m completely different.

In other news, Lexi and Rachel came with my last week and held my hands while I got my fourth tattoo! I placed the design on the back of my neck, it is an African symbol and it means Learning From The Past. The design is a little bigger than I would have liked it but I’m stuck with it now and love it either way.

The money I spent on the tattoo was supposed to be to open up a gym membership account at Corpus Sana. Unfortunately it seems like my procrastination against the gym or any form of exercise for that matter is still creating an obstacle to get back into shape.

While I am on the topic of gyms and getting into shape, I have to say that I am going to be getting a tad ‘heavier’ now that I have started working at Belvidere Manor as they give me a delicious cooked lunch every day.

I say ‘heavier’ because people are starting to turn pretty nasty towards me whenever I complain about my recent body changes.

I have always been a late developer and only now I have started to get curves combined with a comfortable winter coat and I am not used to it!

I know that I am not fat and I am not saying that I am, I just wish SOMEONE could understand that these new curves and extra KG’s are very new to me and do bring me down a lot!

Everytime I feel down about the matter, I end up binging on fatty foods or anything that I can get my hands on e.g comfort foods. Then I feel even more miserable and disgusted in myself once I’ve devoured everything!

What to do? What to do?