Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Working Through the Pain of a Breakup

Well one of my New Years Resolutions was implemented pretty fast. 

Right now I am spending my first night back under my parents roof, 2 cats and a sausage dog curled up beside me on this massive bed I used to call home.

It's the oddest sensation to move back after having a place of my own for a good while. It's demeaning almost; as though I failed in adulthood. 

I moved back for many reasons, my recent single status clearly taking the cake. Moving out was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I had to divide the family I created consisting of two beautiful kittens, three gorgeous dogs and my ex who, beyond all of our constant bickering, is a pretty great person. 
He knew me better than anyone and became my rock through all of 2012's hurdles. I honestly don't know how I'm going to get by without him but right now I need to try. He's angry and hurt that I up and left this morning... but he took the first step forward to move on to better things. I couldn't stay with him after knowing that, it would have been far too awkward. Many of our friends and family are surprised we made it through so long living together after our breakup. I don't know how we did it, but I really hope that some of that strength can reflect into a good, stable friendship at some stage. As cliche as that sounds, I really do want to remain close with him. 
I love you to absolute bits, he's a fantastic, warm-hearted, caring person and any woman will be lucky to end up with him. He's going to make someone an extremely happy lady. After everything him and I have been through together, I hope he can see the bigger picture. I hope he can find it in his heart to keep a friendship with me.
It will be killer hard to see him with someone else, but I know that day is inevitable. 
I need to be strong. I need to keep it together.
I can do this - and for anyone who is going through a similar situation (like I know a few of my friends are,) then you can do it too. 

2 comments:

  1. Oh dear - I am so sorry you are going through this... about 16 months ago I ended an engagement - which by far was the hardest thing I've ever done. And now I'm so in love with a man who I never would have found had I stayed with my ex... Never settle - your guy is out there :)

    XO
    Pearls & Paws

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  2. Breakups are the worst, they are so tough, but youre right it is always worth it when you get through it and its a credit to both of you that you kept on living together, shoes what good people you are

    http://alittlebitunique.blogspot.co.uk/

    x

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Jade