Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Day 25 - Last Time You Cried From Sadness #26DayBloggingChallenge

The last time I cried from sadness… 

I don’t cry. I mean, I cry in movies and series - but not out of my own sadness. I guess that’s why it was really weird when I cried about a month and a half ago. There’s a video blog (embarrassingly enough) which is me crying and you know why? A guy. Again. 
Why do us girls do this to ourselves? We get so caught up in someone and give it our all - and then we get hurt. 

The last time I cried was when I was ‘dating’ this guy that lives in Australia. Things were really amazing between us - which is weird considering that I’d only ever met him once and then we just started chatting over facebook one day. We just gelled and quickly entered into an online romance. 
He told me that he had booked his airplane ticket and was on his way to visit me. He told me absolutely everything that I wanted to hear - small little things that just made me go weak at the knees. 
We’d chat every second of every day - and then one day, he just went quiet. It was about three days until I heard from him again and he apologised profusely, feeding me some story that he’d broken his phone. 
All was forgiven and forgotten. But then it started happening again and again. He’d just disappear for days but then just when I’d put my foot down and realise that enough’s enough, he’d come spiralling right back into my heart. 
Anyway.. sorry. Had to say that. 

So one night I was out at a local pub with my best friend, Lucien. I was telling him how yet again Simon and I had not spoken in days. I logged onto facebook on my phone and saw that I was still facebook friends with him but he’d privatised all of his settings so I couldn’t see anything on his wall. To top it off, the relationship status was gone. I was so confused. I hadn’t even done anything. I only ever wanted to be there for him. We never had an argument, in fact every time we spoke it was always so happy! My cheeks would hurt from smiling so much and so did his, at least that is what he said. 

A girl needs clarity, you know? 

I get that it just didn’t work out and I’m fine with that - but an explanation would be nice. I’m the kind of girl that holds on to things. It’s not easy to admit that, but it’s true. I don’t know when to give up. A part of me will have these unrealistic, hopeless romantic fantasies that you’ll just come riding back into my life and we’ll live happily ever after. I guess that’s because I live in ‘la-la’ land haha but hey, at least I believe in love. 

I never loved Simon or anything. I’m hopeless at love and falling in love and all that crap. But it doesn’t mean that I don’t believe in it or don’t want it. Of course I want it. 

SO… while in the middle of the local pub with my best friend, the tears welled up in my eyes and next thing they were spilling down my cheeks. 
Luckily, Lucien is the best friend you could ever ask for. He always picks me right back up, dusts me off and makes me laugh. 

It was hard to get hurt once again - and there were a lot of tears for a few days… but, as much as I hate this quote, time really does heal all wounds. 

Now, I’m fine.
Just fine. 

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  1. I loved reading this slightly emotional post. I can totally relate! WE NEED CLARITY </3 And it sucks when we don't get it.

    However, I'm so happy to hear you're fine now! Better things are yet to come :)

  2. awww.. i can imagine what you felt in the pub
    i was dating a guy and we were really happy , being a leo i am a die heart romantic , always believed what he told but later got to know that he was meeting girls behind my back and all that crap
    after a lot of suffering love gave me , i dont think i can trust anyone now
    use to be a person who never cries but now , it has changed a bit
    somehow alwys manage to hide my tears from others
    Thanks a lot for watching my video:) My indian accent , i am sure u found it weird , hehehe
    Do u have youtube too !!

  3. Oh such an asshole. You deserved at least explenation. It´s better you got rid of him and you have great friend that he helped you. :)
    Fashion Happenss

  4. Guys... I alwasy reapeat: I will never again cry cos of the guy... and than after a while totally forget about it and cry like a baby... You know, 'cos of helplessness... This Australian guy of yours, seems to be a 'nasty-type'... I believe that what happened is actually with benefit for you girl ;)

  5. I agree we get so caught up in relation and give it our all and then get hurt!! I can totally understand your feelings and what it would have been at that time! Good to know that you don't cry often, its always better to learn tthrough these kinda experience and overcome as a new and happy you! :)

    Happy thursday

  6. I literally have been there once before, we met once or twice spoke daily and he vanished. Returned like a month later feeding me bs after that experience I have vowed to never do long distance relationships. A girl needs some form of stability. Did I cry? no but I am sure had I been in a pub around my girls I would've I just started flirting with another guy who was actually around haha

    Meg | Meghan Silva's Blog

  7. Gosh I'm so sorry Jade! I know just how much this hurts, but I hope you can find some comfort in knowing that when you do find real love it will wash away all the pain and it will supersede all of these awful feelings many times over.... he's out there, it's just a matter of time my friend.



  8. Hey you´ve a great blog!
    Please check out mine and if you want we can follow each other
    here on bloglovin and via GFC?
    Let me know, now it´s your turn.


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