Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Day 25 - Last Time You Cried From Sadness #26DayBloggingChallenge
The last time I cried from sadness…
I don’t cry. I mean, I cry in movies and series - but not out of my own sadness. I guess that’s why it was really weird when I cried about a month and a half ago. There’s a video blog (embarrassingly enough) which is me crying and you know why? A guy. Again.
Why do us girls do this to ourselves? We get so caught up in someone and give it our all - and then we get hurt.
The last time I cried was when I was ‘dating’ this guy that lives in Australia. Things were really amazing between us - which is weird considering that I’d only ever met him once and then we just started chatting over facebook one day. We just gelled and quickly entered into an online romance.
He told me that he had booked his airplane ticket and was on his way to visit me. He told me absolutely everything that I wanted to hear - small little things that just made me go weak at the knees.
We’d chat every second of every day - and then one day, he just went quiet. It was about three days until I heard from him again and he apologised profusely, feeding me some story that he’d broken his phone.
All was forgiven and forgotten. But then it started happening again and again. He’d just disappear for days but then just when I’d put my foot down and realise that enough’s enough, he’d come spiralling right back into my heart.
Anyway.. sorry. Had to say that.
So one night I was out at a local pub with my best friend, Lucien. I was telling him how yet again Simon and I had not spoken in days. I logged onto facebook on my phone and saw that I was still facebook friends with him but he’d privatised all of his settings so I couldn’t see anything on his wall. To top it off, the relationship status was gone. I was so confused. I hadn’t even done anything. I only ever wanted to be there for him. We never had an argument, in fact every time we spoke it was always so happy! My cheeks would hurt from smiling so much and so did his, at least that is what he said.
A girl needs clarity, you know?
I get that it just didn’t work out and I’m fine with that - but an explanation would be nice. I’m the kind of girl that holds on to things. It’s not easy to admit that, but it’s true. I don’t know when to give up. A part of me will have these unrealistic, hopeless romantic fantasies that you’ll just come riding back into my life and we’ll live happily ever after. I guess that’s because I live in ‘la-la’ land haha but hey, at least I believe in love.
I never loved Simon or anything. I’m hopeless at love and falling in love and all that crap. But it doesn’t mean that I don’t believe in it or don’t want it. Of course I want it.
SO… while in the middle of the local pub with my best friend, the tears welled up in my eyes and next thing they were spilling down my cheeks.
Luckily, Lucien is the best friend you could ever ask for. He always picks me right back up, dusts me off and makes me laugh.
It was hard to get hurt once again - and there were a lot of tears for a few days… but, as much as I hate this quote, time really does heal all wounds.
Now, I’m fine.