Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Diary of a Crazed Bride-to-Be

Entry 1:

12 May 2015 
(9.5 months until Wedding Day)

I am freaking out. 
Why is it that no one but the bride seems to sense the urgency in planning a wedding? Sam (better known as Handsome Bearded Fellow on my blog,) proposed to me on Saturday 25th April, when I was least expecting it. I bet all brides say that, but I really mean it. The Friday before he popped the question he started being really weird. He was supposed to come over and house-sit with me but ‘fell ill’ and couldn’t make it. He was also being incredibly distant. 
I was sure he was going to break up with me. He’d never acted so strange before! So me being the free-spirited, loose cannon that I am got recklessly drunk that Friday night - so drunk that I woke up the next morning in my mothers bathtub in a pool of my own puke (classy is obviously my middle name). Needless to say, I literally could not move on Saturday. 
When Sam finally came over it took him over ten minutes of knocking on my window pane to stir me from my sleep (this is now obviously after waking up reeking of vomit in the tub and shamefully dragging my ass to an actual bed). 
It turns out that Sam had planned this amazing hike for us that day where he was planning to propose, but after taking one look at me he realised that it wouldn’t happen. Instead, he got me Chinese take-away, season 6 of Californication and filled up my hot water bottle for me; putting me under a blanket on the sofa.

While watching the show and sipping on a vodka to try and cure my other-worldly hangover he started blubbering like an idiot, unable to string two words together - or maybe I just can’t remember what he was trying to say… whatever he said though, he then hauled out this little black box (THE little black box!) which instantly made me choke. 
Was this really happening!? Now?! Here?!
“No!” I breathed, refusing to look down at the box he’d now flipped open. 
“Yes!” he said shakily.
“No…” I repeated, tears forming as I stared right into his eyes in complete shock.
“Yes…” he whispered, holding the box higher up until I had to look.
I didn’t want to look. I was so scared! 
I think my next word may have been ‘Fuck!’ as he removed the ring from the pristine white cushioning and slid it onto my finger. 

The truth is, I didn’t even care what it looked like. 
My biggest and most shallow fear since proposal came a tangible thing to me was that I’d hate the ring… I mean, it’s something you have to wear every day for the rest of your life! What if you hate it??? And there’s honestly no denying that I’m a fussy cow - but……… it wasn’t what the ring looked like that mattered! It was the symbolism of it. I only realised that right there and then.

It was beautiful though. So beautiful, in fact, that it completely broke my heart but made it whole at the very same time. A sort of wholeness I’d never quite felt before. 
Sam knew just what would suit me - what resembled who I am and what we are. The ring is just ‘us.’ I’m overwhelmed by just how well he knows me - it’s better than I know myself. That is why he is my best friend. He knows me for all of my goodness and all of my shitiness - and he accepts it. He loves it! He loves me, with all of my faults and imperfections - God knows someone finally had to! And I love him. With all of his silliness and rebellion. With all of his stubbornness and clumsiness… he’s still my Sam. Adorable and heart-meltingly wonderful. 

After the white gold band was around my ring finger on my left hand, he demanded I get dressed and put some makeup on (I looked catastrophic… the fact that he proposed to me looking like that PROVES his love!! He’s said and and has my sister-in-law!). He wanted to take me out for champagne. 

Well, ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you that the best hangover cure EVER is definitely a proposal!
I pulled up a high-waisted black skirt, squeezed into a floral long-sleeved top that used to be a dress but has now depressingly become to small for me…. I plaited my hair, threw on a black jazz hat and off we went to my favourite bar. We popped champagne, toasted and celebrated. It was such a crazy whirlwind, it still all feels like a bit of a dream. 

Since then, chaos has broken out. 

Our first step was setting a date. When that was done we went out for oysters and wine while we worked on our guest list out in the last bit of Spring-ish sun. 
They were the fun bits - the bits that didn’t overwhelm…. but then Sam left for Malawi, leaving it all up to me. 

Sam said that I should be in charge of it all because it’s my day. I disagreed and told him, no, it’s our day and I really need his input. I know weddings are more feminine things but a guy must have some sort of an idea of little bits and bobs he’d like on his big day too, right??? I don’t want the day to just portray me and what I like. I want it to have chunks of us both as individuals, showing off our personalities as well as bits representing us as a couple. 
I feel it’s really important to plan the day together.

I know there’s little he can do while in Malawi so I’ve taken a bit of a head start. We only have 9.5 months to plan the most important day of our lives! I know I’m being a pedantic planner and over-bearing but so what? HOPEFULLY your wedding day only ever happens once (no offence to those of you who have re-married or who are planning to!), so I really just want it to be perfect. 

The reason I’m so hellbent on planning at least the major things for our wedding day right now is because in just one month we are leaving for Southeast Asia. That’s where I thought if anywhere, he’d propose. Like I said, huge surprise! 
Basically, I want to get a head start so that by the time it comes to us packing our bags for the Philippines and Bali next month, we can take a real break. 
To be honest I think everyone will be relieved when I’m half way across the world…..

I’ve assigned certain things to each month leading up to our wedding day. That way we’re more organised and not so overwhelmed with the crazily intense list of what really needs to be done for a wedding. 
Seriously… there is SO much to think of, I can hardly believe it!!!

So this is my list (so far):

  • April:
               Get used to the idea of being engaged.
               Compile Guest List.
               Choose Groomsmen.
               Choose Bridesmaids.
               Choose Best Man.
               Choose Maid of Honour(s)
               Choose Ring Bearer.

  • May: 
                     Wedding Venue Month.
                      Research Florists.

                      Research Photographers. 
                      Research Caterers.
                      Research Cake Maker.
                      Assign Master of Ceremony. 

  • June: 

                     Wedding Dress Month. 
                      Research Ministers.
                      Research Bands.
                      Research Vintage Car Companies.

  • July: 


  • August: 

                    Create Invitations.
                    Bridesmaids Dresses.
                    Waist Coats for Men.
                    Save the Date Cards.
                    Begin Makeup Trials.
                    Begin Hair Trials.

  • September:

                   Book Florist.
                   Book Cake.

                   Book Makeup.
                   Book Hair.
                   Dress Fittings.
                   Wedding Shoes.
                   Send Invitations.

  • October:

                   Music Playlist. 
                   Thank You Gifts.
                   List of People Giving Toasts (let them know).
                   Wedding Lingerie.

  • November:

                  Printing of Name Cards and Menu’s. 
                  Assign Seating.


  • December:

                  Marriage License.
                  Bridesmaids / Groomsmen Gifts. 
                  Mother-in-Law Gifts.
                  Make Ring-Bearer Shirt.

  • January:

                  Enter R.S.V.P’s to Final Guest List (Contact people who haven’t responded yet).
                  Last Dress Fitting.
                  Hair Appointment.
                  Start Stocking Bar.

  • February:

                  Bachelorette’s / Bachelors.
                  Spa Day.
                  Get Married!

Is there anything missing!? If you can think of anything please let me know.

The reason that May is so jam-packed is because I wanted to be able to set a budget and as someone that has literally NO idea what weddings cost, I needed to request quotes and price lists beforehand to get an idea on what people actually charge. 

So far, May has been MANIC. Not just with wedding stuff either.
Firstly, I get my journalism degree this month and my pathetic online college that offers the worst service in the world takes 6 months to respond to one email (I’m actually not joking). If that isn’t stress enough, I’m also preparing for my travels overseas next month and this morning I had an email saying my accommodation was unexpectedly cancelled in the Philippines. 

As a 24 year old traveling alone to a brand new country, all I want it to feel some form of safety and security so this obviously brought on panic attacks already. Not to mention it’s typhoon season in Southeast Asia right now!!! 
I organised this trip months ago so that I didn’t have to worry about it right now - but it’s all going pear-shaped!
Furthermore, it’s my birthday this Friday and I’m being mucked around with my schedule, I’m trying to plan as many dress appointments as possible during my ONE DAY in the city at the end of this month and I’ve started to get photography and venue quotes which is scaring the living daylights out of me! I never knew weddings were this expensive! 

It just feels like everything is hitting me all at once and this break to Bali couldn’t come soon enough. Now I finally understand what a honeymoon is for… it’s not to make a baby! It’s to unwind from the months of planning one day that’s over before you know it! Phew!!!

One of the most important things I’ve recently learned is to decide on a venue. This will help all further quotations from photographers, videographers, makeup artists, caterers, florists and more.
So before Sam left we went to view one venue which was beautiful. It was in a forest and very bohemian just like we want - but as perfect as the reception area is, the forest can only seat 40 people. Everyone on our guest list is there for a reason and I don’t want to cut one single person out if possible - so we’re continuing to look.

I’ve booked four more forest venues for us to scope out when he gets back from Malawi and already I’ve been to one wedding dress shop where I tried on two of the most vile dresses I think I have ever seen.
I live in a tiny town so there really isn’t much here - that’s why I’ve made appointments in the city for the end of the month. I have three dress appointments at very high end designer stores and here’s a little secret: I have already fallen in love with a dress…. the problem is that it’s 3 times my salary…. Like I said, weddings are expensive.
I haven’t even gotten to telling you about the cake quotes and my hunt for forest wedding decor like moss for the tables etc. 

I really do seem like a crazed bride-to-be and I guess I kind of am. I’ve already got a folder exploding with quotes and pictures and ideas… I think Sam’s going to get quite a shock when he gets back into the country…

But I really do need his help and other people’s help too for that matter - I mean, I had NO idea you need to tell the minister what you want. I thought that you’d interview a couple of them and they’d tell you want they offer and you’d basically pick and choose. 
How naive am I??? 

When I’ve attended weddings in the past I never really paid attention to what the minister was saying… I was always more interested in the food and booze - sad but true.
So I guess that’s the first place to go from here - quotes and words that we’d like the minister to say… stuff that represents us as a couple and as individuals.

Right now all I know is that I want it to be unique and quirky. 
I want the ceremony to be completely different from what people have seen and heard before. I want it to be something that makes them go, “Wow!” and laugh and be enraptured with… I don’t want it to just be your average, typical wedding.

I want it to portray who Sam and I are - so choosing quotes that symbolise us seems like a good place to go from here - I mean this is what I know we want so far:

  • Theme: Bohemian
  • Venue: Forest
  • Music: Bongo Drums / Didgeridoo’s
  • Car: VW Campervan
  • Color scheme: Mint Green
  • Cake: Macaron Tower

And what we still need? Well, that seems to be a never ending list…

People say that when it finally gets to your big day, no matter how much you’ve planned it, it will all come together perfectly because you’re spending it with your loved ones and you’re marrying the love of your life. I get that, but I still can’t help but want to try and make it a day that no one will ever forget.

I’ll check in with you soon. 

All my love,

Crazed Bride-to-Be

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  1. Weddings have a lot going on and honestly half way through I kind of threw in the towel. From letting the venue decorate for me with my colors, and bridesmaids picking their own dresses any little thing that I can pawn off on someone I am. Luckily people are usually all to happy to help and it really makes it all so much better. It's also helped me keep costs down. It's amazing how little things add up so quickly! For photography ask around for a student or someone just starting out our photographer is less than half all the others that i got quotes from and after our engagement session I was in love with her work. Just because they don't charge a lot doesn't mean the quality isn't there. Same with the "minister", we decided to have a close friend do it. He is animated and a great speaker, and we told him to say what he feels is right. He was there when we met 7 years ago so he knows. One thing this whole wedding planning process has taught me is to let go. I'm a micro-manager at heart, but honestly is is worth the stress and anger when it doesnt turn out right? Especially when your budget is as small as mine, theres no way we can even afford for it to go like the dreams in my head. So now I'm just enjoying the ride, and it's been great so far we will know for sure in just 4 months.
    Phew sorry for my novel!

  2. Ha, I am not a good person to comment on this because I was Miss "Really can't get too OTT about the wedding" -the thing we did most about was private dance lessons for our first dance.
    Love your story of the ring and proposal- Classy indeed Jade!!!
    You are VERY.ORGANISED!!!
    Oh and re Bali- er I lived there for a year and didn't experience typhoons at this time of year though it is the end of the rainy season- so you get massive deluges and downpours of rain and then it is sunny again. My sister visited me in April and we had a lovely time,

    By the way, where are you staying? I can't remember if you told me? Kuta? Seminyak? Sanur? Ubud?
    I will look out my tailor for you if you want? He was really cool! Mind you, there are stacks of people.
    And you have to try 'Jus Apocat' when you go there- it's avocado juice- it has condensed milk and chocolate sauce in it! And try SNAKE fruit too- brown crispy looking! (Balinese name is Salak) My favourite fruit and mangosteens if they are in season!

  3. wow.. relax.. take a deep breath..
    enjoy the vacation.. and just like you said with the ring.. we worry and worry about the minutest detail of the wedding.. like moss for the tables but in the end.. in the marriage that matters... and seven years into mine.. the wedding details get a bit more fuzzy with every passing year.
    once again congratulations!

  4. how cute is the story, i cannt believe you thought he was breaking up, hahhaha
    I am so happy for you guys, dont know why but the first time you me ntioned him on blog i had a feeling that he is the one for you
    best part is that reading your blogs i felt that you guys understand eac h other so well and are so like minded
    ANd girl you already have so much planned, do keep updating the blog on your perparation for wedding and holiday
    Keep in touch

  5. Jade, weddings can be stressful but your friends are right... your special day will come together because you will be with your family and friends. Oh and yes, they can be so expensive... it seems like there are never ending things that come up... however; you look like you are organized... I like how you have broken it up monthly.

    I do agree you'll need the time in Bali... hopefully you'll be able to relax and enjoy yourself when the time comes.

    I'm sure you will make a beautiful bride xox ♡♡♡

  6. Please just do not forgot about decorations ;)
    Try just not to freak out too much :D just enjoy the moment and do whatever u would like to do :)


  7. There are a ton of decisions to make but try not to forget it's a happy and joyous time and enjoy yourselves! You've got the right idea making many lists. Just take deep breaths and all will be good.

    I loved planning our wedding but then again we had 16 months time from the time of engagement to the actual wedding.

    I cannot wait to see this come to fruition :) Eeeeep! :)


  8. I just love how your engagement pictures turned out... they are so beautiful! I can't believe how well organized and planned out you already have things. It is so cute what a surprise the whole engagement was. I loved reading the "story" behind it all. I have always thought that the day after the wedding was really the best day of my life. There isn't much that compares to waking up next to your new husband and being able to completely relax after all of the chaos in my opinion. Your day will be absolutely beautiful and it sounds like you are already on top of so much of the planning!

  9. Love this post! Great division of time!


  10. What a sweet story! And I'm so amused that you woke up in the bathtub in your puke before the proposal. That is one helluva story. After I saw on facebook that he proposed, I thought to myself that your bali trip is now going to be a pre wedding honeymoon :) Love your wedding plan! Congrats and wishing you a beautiful and very very happy life together Jade! Now, come to India soon :)

    Keep in touch

  11. Ahhh Jade! Just remember to breathe and savour every stress-inducing moment. Like you said you (hopefully) only get married once so enjoy the process even if it may be an expensive and excessive one. I love that you responded with a "fuck". I've always imagined I'd do the same thing hahaha! A wedding in a forest sounds resplendent too. Magical and perfect for your bohemian soul. I'm envisioning an Inbal Dror dress too...


  12. Jade I am so happy for you and I will be following all your preparation! But to be honest what pop up to my mind is: OMG so much work?! I am not a wedding person and my boy is trying to convince me to change my mind... Well, after reading all this planning and stuff I can say it won't be easy to convince me!
    have a lovely weekend!

  13. aww wow, I'm so gutted I've been missing out on some of your blog posts.. you're life is becoming more and more exciting!! (thankyou for sharing btw)
    Sounds like you want a relaxed vibe wedding, they say all the stress will be worth it in the end :) x

    Let's talk about those cute photos of you and "your bearded fellow! :) Also in regards to your previous blog post, I thought I would comment here just in case you missed it.. I think brunette?! xx


  14. aaaawww Jade! I LOVED this ...so so so sweet...you write so well and this is just so beautiful, something to cherish forever! then I read this line " I think my next word may have been ‘Fuck!’ as he removed the ring from the pristine white cushioning and slid it onto my finger." and about died laughing, ha!! Def enjoy EVERY moment of the planning, try not to stress!!! keep us all posted! xoxoxoxo

  15. Aww you're so blessed! Congratulations, I hope your wedding goes exactly as you plan - & I do agree, with you at the minute of the proposal nothing else really matters except for your fiance and you <3 Benish | Feminist Reflections

  16. So happy for you, congratulations! I wonder what it would be like.

    / Avy

  17. Congratulations on your engagement! :)

    I just came across your blog & glad I did! I got married this February (after also getting engaged last April) and I also found the planning so flipping stressful! It's good that you're taking a break in between, I didn't and wish I did.
    If there's one piece of advice I can give you, is that you should try to get everything done before December, as basically everything and everyone goes on vacation until mid-January, which leaves a small period of time to sort the last things out before the wedding in Feb. And if the honeymoon destination is not a surprise to you, still leave the honeymoon planning up to him while you do the wedding planning. One person can only plan & stress so much! haha. Enjoy it so much, will be following your journey! x

    1. Suzani I don't know if you'll get this but I can't find you blog and would love to follow you and keep in touch!? xxxx

  18. Good luck to you with all your plans. To be quite honest, if I had it to do over again, I'd go even simpler than we did on wedding plans, and we didn't have a huge wedding as it was.The day is more about stating your commitment to each other and celebrating with family and friends than it is about all the details. It will all come together, you will see. :-)


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