Saturday, September 26, 2015

Dating Sites

It's always a wonderful feeling to visit my blog and see the last post I published being so positive - and to read all the incredible support and love from you guys too. 

The last few months have been a complete whirlwind and I updated you on most of it in my previous post. From Philippines where I survived earthquakes and typhoons to Indonesia where I got stranded to due the Mount Raung volcanic eruption... then heading back to South Africa where my engagement ended, being left completely alone to cancel an entire wedding I'd planned to the T, moving into my own flat, moving on with my life and finally getting diagnosed with measles, then chicken pox, then an allergic reaction to some medicine I was taking (basically I was just covered in bloody spots either which way). There were a lot of other things in between... but one thing I'd like to focus the post of today on is.... dating sites!

I've always been reeeeally skeptical about dating sites to be honest. You never know who is really on the other end of the screen, you know?

Anyway, with a trip to Cape Town planned (I fell head over heels in love with that city... my word), my plans with a group of friends got cancelled so I had an evening in Hout Bay, Cape Town all alone with nothing to do. So I did two things which changed my life forever. I downloaded Uber onto my phone, which is probably the coolest idea I've ever heard of.. it's basically a taxi service but it is SUCH a convenient and cheap way to make your way around the city!! 

The second thing I did was download Tinder. I'd never even considered getting it before. I had no idea how it worked but I had nothing to lose at this point in my life, so I poured a ginormous glass of wine in my little villa I was staying in all alone and thought to myself, 'Why the hell not?!'
Tinder....... I don't know if there are words apt enough to describe this app for your phone. It's hilarious!!! Basically, you're given a photo of a guy (or woman, whatever floats your surfboard...) and by judging them on looks alone you can swipe left if you don't like them and right if you do. If you aren't 100% sure then you can also click on their profile and they can upload a handful of other photographs linked to their Facebook accounts and you can read the brief biography they put up about themselves. 
A while ago I had this massive idea about starting a blind-dating television show with my friend Lucien. I was adamant to give everyone in life a fair chance to excel in themselves and produce their personalities and have the opportunity to find love without looks being the main factor. That idea got snatched away from me when Dating In The Dark aired.... still think mine would have been better though ;) 

My point was that there are so many quality people in the world with personalities to die for, people with disabilities or disfigurements who deserve a chance at love just as much as the rest of us - I didn't want to base the show solely around them but I wanted to include everyone from every background in life! I do understand there needs to be a physical attraction to the person you are going to be with in life - but I'd rather have someone with a personality I can truly connect with and be happy for the rest of my life with someone I consider to be my best friend, than be with some chiseled idiot who cares more about flab and carbs than I do. I find those sort of people mind-numbing.
So anyway, that being said, after swiping left and right on an uncountable number of men for about an hour and starting up conversations with the few that had swiped right on my photograph too - I started to feel really shallow and bad. I started to feel not myself. I don't base things on looks and here I was completely contradicting myself and what I believe in. So I considered deleting Tinder after literally one hour. I didn't though - I decided to stick it out, because I still had an entire evening to kill remember? 

Anyway - I wound up on a date (taking the Uber taxi to get to the restaurant) with an Italian Swiss supermodel. Good bloody Lord was he gorgeous.... but.... mind-numbing. The ENTIRE meal he was pulling at his nonexistent flab and telling me that he was on a diet. I was also so flipping nervous I barely ate a thing (which is a pity because it was one of the most divine looking steaks I think I'd ever seen). I was shaking so much throughout the date and just didn't know what to say - this is also because I just could not connect with him on any kind of level whatsoever. About half way through the date he started suggesting that I come with him back to his place for another glass of wine and so that I could give him a MASSAGE because his back was sore....... WTF!?! 
I kept saying no and telling him I won't but he would not give up - I eventually got back to my Villa (ALONE) in one piece and fully clothed thank God.
I make it sound worse than it is. It was fun and a very different experience to what I am used to, to say the least.

I spoke with a couple of friends about the site and they think it's basically just for people who are in a certain area for an evening and want a quick shag. I disagree though. I actually met a really lovely person through Tinder (not the model). Well - I say meet, but we haven't technically met face to face just yet.

After the initial heartache was over from Sam dumping me like a ton of bricks, I actually found that I have been thoroughly enjoying and reveling in my new life. I feel positive and optimistic!

I feel whole. 
I am not completed by another person for the first time in my life but rather I have filled up the voids and spaces people make for themselves - and I have filled them with myself.

I am actually happier than I think I have ever been at this point in time. 

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  1. Hahahah that is one disaster date!! I'm thinking of downloading it for fun to kill time now though I'd prefer a friend version which would help us to make genuine female friends instead of boys to shag or date! My boyfriend downloaded it for the heck of it and was thoroughly disappointed that not a single person expressed interested in his profile. He showed me the pics and what he wrote and asked me wat he was doing wrong. Hahaha. I told him his profile sounded too stuck up and his age (30) is too much for Tinder crowd in my city! Anyway he can be happy that he has me! LOL! Glad you are feeling much better now! Things will only keep getting better and better :) Cheers!

  2. Jade, I'm happy you're feeling so positive... that is awesome. I like that you didn't allow the break up to bring you down for long... I'm not fond of dating sites but it's a huge way thay people meet today. I just have to be super selective... eventually I could meet a real person. I hope you find someone special when your ready and someone who deserves you ... until the, have fun ♡

  3. Hi Jade! Oh dear, measles too!!! Poor you!! The date sounded very dull absailing bit scary! I hope that the current nice Tinder person works out.x

  4. Your night in Cape Town sounds like it was quite an adventure! I've heard of Uber but never tried it. So glad to hear you are happy and doing well. You look gorgeous in that last shot.

  5. It is darkest before the dawn right? I'm so happy you are feeling good about yourself. Self love is the best kind of love!

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